You may recall that, some years ago, me and some other, far better-known, people produced (somewhat by accident) a glorious romance called The Unfeasibly Tall Greek Billionaire's Blackmailed Martyr-Complex Secretary Mistress Bride. We followed this up with the even more glorious The Italian Gourmet Baby Food Baron's Ironically Pregnant Virgin Mistress (pithily known as TUTGBBMCSMB and TIGBFBIPVM respectively).
Happy days. Sadly, the series ended there.
But no need for glumness! In the same tradition of hilarity, the lovely P G Forte and her eight fellow authors (aka, the nine naughty novelists) have produced a REGENCY, namely, If You Give a Duke a Duchy or Love’s Savage Whiplash (Not Your Typical Regency Romance) You can buy it here.
In celebration of all things Regency, P G Forte has done a Thursday 13 on Regency Romance for Isn't it Romance?, but first, a word or two about the book:
From the authors who brought you The Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies, comes a new and even more scandalous story of sword-play, sailing ships and sorrowful separations ripped straight from the annals of Regency England: If You Give a Duke a Duchy (or Love’s Savage Whiplash).
Being a Tale of Panting Passion wherein a Disaffected Duke runs away to Sea to become a Pirate and ends up becoming Love Slave to a Ninja Queen, whilst at home he is replaced by a Nefarious Highwayman and ne’er-do-well who is, in turn, Ultimately Redeemed by his love for a Poor but Virtuous Governess.
And now on to the Thursday 13... Over to you PGF.
There’s a lot to love about Regency Romance. During the writing and researching of our recent (and very atypical) Regency parody, If You Give a Duke a Duchy, the Nine Naughty Novelists got to explore quite a few of them. Here, in no particular order, are thirteen of our favorites.
1. The language. We love Regency Cant like nobody’s business. Terms like “jug-bitten”, “bacon-brained”, “leg-shackled” or “touched in the upper works” always make us smile.
2. The rakes. Who doesn’t love a bad boy hero? And what could be better than a bad-boy hero with impeccable manners, good breeding, and (all too likely) a title and a sizeable inheritance in the offing…not to mention the wealth of sexual experience he’s improbably picked up during his dissolute years most of which he seems to have spent cavorting with his chère-amies.
'Zounds! I've lost my head over a dashingly lovely young ingenue!
3. Breeches. Whether they were termed “bucksins”, “small clothes” or “Inexpressibles” men’s pants should always be worn this tight. Just sayin’
4. The very favorable Duke-to-Commoner ratio. In our favorite Regency novels, Dukes are so common it's reasonable to conclude they must comprise at least 90% of the male population. Which means that, even if you aren’t a diamond-of-the-first-water with your own terrifyingly exalted pedigree, your chances of some day saying “I do” to His Grace are better than good. All you really need are a few new frocks, a season in Town and a handful of vouchers to Almack’s. Piece of cake. And speaking of which…
5. The food. Granted, some of the dishes mentioned in our favorite books seem odd (puddings and joints and possets—oh, my!) and everyone’s uncle always seems to be suffering from gout, but meals in Regency Romance are always entertaining. We love the variety of dishes, the abundance of courses and the leisurely pace at which our characters imbibed. Oh, and breakfast in bed. Yeah—we really like those.
6. The hours they keep. The only times most Regency heroines ever glimpse the dawn, is through the windows of a carriage on their way home from a night on the town…or do we mean, the ton? Hence the need for all those breakfasts in bed! In general, it seems, the early morning hours are reserved for hunting or duels. Further proof that being forced out of bed at too early an hour tends to end in violence.
Thoroughly Modern Millinery
7. Hats, Bonnets, and other Millinery. Nowadays the only elaborate, fashionable hats we see are on the heads of guests at royal weddings -- and we all know how that can go. Regency ladies, on the other hand, appreciated fine millinery and knew how to work the hat look to perfection.
8. Shoes. As anyone who’s read our blog lately knows, the Naughty Nine love shoes. Heels during Regency times might not have been as high as some of us are used to, but they were still things of beauty. And who doesn’t love a shiny pair of Hessian boots?
Hello, I am a Regency-type chap and I love my boots. Look how they make me smile.
9. Sex in Parlors. It’s shocking how many Regency couples tend to get it on in the parlor. Doors are rarely locked and we’re constantly amazed by the way all that delicate-looking furniture stands up to the vigorous use to which it's put.
10. Family Retainers. Every household has at least one: a faithful servant whose sole goal in life is to attend to his or her charge’s every need. Where would our noblemen and gentlewomen be without their invaluable valets, ladies’ maids or nurses? After all, it's they who can always be counted on to be helpful, discreet or sympathetic…and to ensure those unlocked doors are never opened at an importunate time.
11. Town. As anyone who’s ever read Dickens knows, historic London was cold, dank and dismal most of the time. If you ventured out into the streets after dark, you were as lief to freeze to death as you were to have your pockets picked by charming bands of orphans and waifs. In Regency Romance, on the other hand, Town contains nothing more deadly than a game of cribbage. Glittering assemblies, the occasional brothel, and endless carriage rides in the park are the norm. So much more pleasant!
12. Rustication. In the unlikely event they disgrace themselves in some fashion, or find themselves in dun territory, Regency Characters can always repair to a country estate until the furor dies down or their next annuity payment hits the bank. Like family retainers, picturesque, secluded and fully staffed mansions are ubiquitous in Regency district of Romancelandia. There’s always one there when you need it, never more than an uncomfortable coach ride away.
13. Marriage. Despite what they might say or think or do, and no matter what impediments stand in the way, marriage is always the proper and inevitable goal for all Regency characters—even the gentlemen. We have Jane’s word on it, after all!
Oh, and see sidebar if you want to revisit TUTGBBMCSMB and TIGBFBIPVM.
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5 comments:
LOL I loved this post. I particularly liked the bit about the delicate furniture in the parlor. Note to self - use the sturdy desk in the library.
Excellent post, loved the list of thirteen. Amazing how many Dukes England seems to have had, isn't it? Brilliant touch to include the photos, especially the devastatingly BAD modern hats!
Great post! I think we should all still be having sex in paroles. Then we might never have given up on those awesome hats
I laughed a lot at the post and agreed with a lot, especially the part about early rising leading to violence.
Good stuff! But I think one was omitted--the remarkable stamina of the hero in all those meetings in the parlor on the delicate furniture--or the Persian carpet, whichever.
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