In which I blog about the end of my Adrien English glom

I got up this morning, humming this. Hummed it all day.



I only just realised why.

I just finished a week-long glom of the Adrien English mysteries by Josh Lanyon. Yup. All five books, in order, one after the other. I think it's possibly my most intense glom yet.

The fifth book features a fifty year old mystery, the murder of Jay Stevens, clarinet player with The Moonglows. Hence the humming.

Are you wondering how I found the glom?

So great. And I can't put it behind me without blogging about the final book a little.

In this final book, The Dark Tide, Lanyon ties up the wonderful romance arc between Adrien and Jake with a mystery that has closeted sexuality at its heart. The phrase 'dark tide' is referenced in a conversation Adrien has with a suspect when she talks about what fear makes someone do (...you go with it, even when you should fight...) This exchange makes Adrien think of the dark tide Jake has swum in - his closeted sexuality and fear of exposure - until his outing at the end of book 4, a fear almost destroyed both Adrien and Jake until Jake's pivotal redemptive act at the end of that penultimate book.

This last bit of the romance arc deals with whether Adrien can take the step of trusting Jake and enter into a fully committed relationship with him. Since Jake has made it clear that Adrien is who he wants, the dynamics of their relationship to date are turned on their head in this book. Now Jake is the petitioner, Adrien the one withholding.

But the journey is not one-way. This isn't merely about Jake redeeming himself and Adrien forgiving him, it's about Adrien being changed too. Throughout the book, we get various characters' takes on Adrien: former lovers, family, friends. He's described repeatedly as a loner and we see how he always maintains a little distance between himself and others, even people he loves. We see that he's an island really. In spite of his frail post-operative state at the start of book 5, he is determined not to lean on anyone, irritated by the constant questions as to whether he is well and by his family's attempts to cosset him. He'd rather be in his own, somewhat unsafe home than be taken care of.

Except when it comes to Jake. He muses, with varying levels of self-awareness, throughout the book about the fact that he feels differently about Jake than anyone else. Only with Jake does he long to breach that little distance; to be alone no longer. We observe various reasons for this: their shared humour, that Jake makes Adrien feel cared for without unmanning him, that their minds work in similar ways as they investigate the mystery, and that physically, between them it is the real thing... raw and powerful and dangerous. Had I really believed I could make do with safe substitutes? Adrien's been out his whole adult life, but only with Jake does he take that step outside of himself and truly connect with another.

Something I loved very much was this: Close to the end, Adrien takes the plunge and commits to Jake, but the final profound moment of understanding for Adrien only comes after this step of faith, in the scene when the mystery is revealed. It's only then that Adrien has a blinding moment of comprehension, a visceral appreciation of what that dark tide that almost overcame Jake really is. How it can make someone kill what they love, and sentence themselves to a half-lived life tainted by lies and fear. And so his journey - and Jake's - come to this:

Maybe it was true. Maybe one person could make a difference. Maybe love could make a difference. It had made a difference to me.

It's not just Jake that's changed at the end of this series, it's Adrien too. His defective heart is set right, and not just by surgery, but by loving Jake fully and being loved in return, every barrier swept aside.